just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
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