dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
