its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
pray to the hookup gods
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
