So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
