I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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