worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
