this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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