Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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