one two three fourrrrnication!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
