Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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