i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize