Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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