THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
