she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize