he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
