im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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