im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
