fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
