cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
