M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize