if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
