just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
