At least make sure they are 18
Why
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
