one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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