My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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