I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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