Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize