I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
