Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
