sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
