i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
