found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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