I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!