i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.