Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...