I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize