he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
