if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
