Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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