Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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