so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
