I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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