I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Drunk is not a location!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
