How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize