btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
