i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
