Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
