what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
