i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
