I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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