that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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