So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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