So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
