He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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