I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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