I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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