Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
