But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
