and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
